One day there was a little boy named Brandon. He was tormented as a child by a band of hippies who lived under a nearby underpass. They force-fed him hummus, made him eat tofu, and took away his deodorant. They made-out with trees, egged gas-guzzling cars and engaged in daily “free love” sessions with whomever—and whatever—happened by.

Needless to say, Brandon was very emotionally scarred. He grew up, and after an exciting career as an astronaut-pirate who tamed dinosaurs while moonlighting as a secret agent who got all the ladies, he began calling himself Oxhorn and became a full-time video editor who made machinima movies. While his movies often hint at his tragic past, they will, hopefully, still bring a smile to your face.

Chat with Brandon and Oxhorn fans in the chat room and be sure to show up Thursdays at 7:00 PM Pacific for his weekly show, Scotch & Smoke Rings. If you’re bored, head on over to Oxhorn TV where you can watch all of Oxhorn’s movies with other fans, streaming 24 hours a day. If you want to read some of Oxhorn’s thoughts and see just how troubled he truly is, read his active blog, Blogging with Class. If you’d like to exchange news and stories with other fans, check out the forum. If you’re looking for some swag left over from his pirate career, browse Oxhorn’s store where you can buy shirts, mugs, and all sorts of other coolness. And if one of his songs is stuck in your head, the doctor prescribes buying Oxhorn Brand Music, available on iTunes and Amazon MP3.

(Brandon’s beard, pipe, hat and suspenders are registered trademarks. Do not use them unless you want to be awesome too).

Timeline

Contact Oxhorn

Use the following form to contact Oxhorn. Be sure to read the FAQs first before asking him any questions about how to make machinima, what server he plays on, what color his britches are and so forth. If you just want to chat, it would be better to leave him a message in the forum.